i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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