Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
