You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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