Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
