The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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