I am in a vortex of obligation.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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