Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
