Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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