I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
