she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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