Jerry, you need to find god
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
