I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
