rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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