I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize