Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
