Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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