So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
