this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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