I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
