Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
