New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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