I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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