He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
