16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
