omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
