I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
A bitchslap is in order.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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