did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
