So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
