All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
