I could have mohawked her pubes.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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