I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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