I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
