This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize