do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
