Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
