it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
