elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
