My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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