I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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