I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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