Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
