whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
