absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
