i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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