you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
