brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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