Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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