"it" just moved
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
