But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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