Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
