I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
