you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
