so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
