We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My vagina just recognized that song.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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