please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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