Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No subtext here. People are naked.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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