So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
