oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
