dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
