In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
