that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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