the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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