Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
either way he was missing a nipple.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
