She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
