the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
